Enlightened Maybe?
This is an all-time first. And I feel like I should chronicle it and bug my friends with it because I think it’s worth telling.
This week, I was heartbroken. Without getting into the pathetic, sad, menial details, it was your usual run-of-the-mill disappointments over a guy.
In the past, I would react with a classic “Why not me?”, “What’s wrong with me?”, “I need to change something so I could get him back.” But something was different today. It was as simple and as basic as three words (four without the apostrophe).
It’s not him.
There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with him. It’s just not us. On the surface, we seem like a logical pair (at least for me and my support group of giggly girlfriends). But then I found out stuff about him that, frankly were disappointing, but the truth is it was more liberating and freeing.
And you know what? I don’t hate him. I’m just not crazy about him anymore. But I don’t want to judge who he is — maybe it works for some girls. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for me.
This could be a by-product of a newfound self-esteem I’ve had in the past few months. I’m more positive and hopeful about life, so minor bumps in the (lovelife) road won’t rock my world.
Hmmm. Enlightenment maybe? I could write a whole discourse on this thing. But I would need a publisher.
